Dear Diary,
Hello People!
Firstly, I would like to begin with an apology. People have been telling me how their weeks were encompassed by distraught without the satisfaction of my blog. They told me they went through a state of utter depression and checked back minutely only to be disappointed by last week's blog. I hope that all those effected can recover and recognize that an absence of blogging for a week does not reflect how I may feel about you. I hope my love for you may fill that gap I regretfully engraved in your hearts. Be well!
Let's begin!
A while ago my family went on our annual trip to Miami and enjoyed a beautiful two weeks by the pool. My sister returned from Israel with the a skirt down to her toes, a turtle neck covering her fingers, and after the hug and the "OMG I MISSED U" mushy gushy stuff that I can't bear, I asked her how she enjoyed being home. "Andrew, America isn't our home. Israel is." She responded. I do feel an obligation to say "IM JOKING" to the description to avoid the comments "OMG IS SHE PRREGO?!?" No she was not wearing the aforementioned skirt or turtle neck and is certainly not pregnant, but I did notice her checking out some religious, black-hat frummy by the pool.
On a serious note, the entire family missed my sister dearly, and it was a pleasure having her 'home'. Her plane arrived early in the morning and when my father drove her home and pulled into the driveway, I faintly remember my mom running outside, screaming "OH MY GOD AMAZING ALLIE THE INCREDIBLE BEST GODDESS IS HOME!" I wonder what the reaction will be when I come home from Israel...yep I'll be taking a cab home...Considering they visited Allie twice in Israel, and they already told me I will only be receiving one visit my projection is somewhat understandable. hehe Kidding! It is indeed true, but that is because I will be coming home for break earlier than Allie did this year, so an extra trip is not necessary. Allie returning 'home' also returned the family back to normalcy; she filled the gap that has been empty for too long. Her two weeks here were ones of enjoyment and appreciation.
My sister was 'home' for a few days to organize, shop, and send her regards to the people in the community and when her return became old news we went to Miami for the holiday. Well we actually did not go to Miami directly. My father found cheaper tickets for a flight to Atlanta then from Atlanta to Miami. So a day that could have been five hours of traveling transformed into one with a whole day of traveling. Unfortunately my dad refused to tell me how much 'cheaper' was, but if you know my dad then one dollar would be an understandable answer.
When we arrived at my grandparent's apartment in Miami, Allie was greeted by the family that was already there while I, my father, and my mother stood awkwardly beside her. YA KNOW HOW IT FEELS NOW? At the apartment were my grandparents and my cousins. My cousins live across the street from my family, and because of that, our families are very close. They go to the same school as I do, and we celebrate birthdays and holidays together. I consider our relationship similar to siblings, and my relationship with each one is different but uniquely special.
Because my blog is relatively new and my family just recently discovered it, my blog was platform for discussion during the holidays. My grandparents would reference my blog and laugh, my dad would bite his nails in indifference, and my sister and cousins were saying "OMG PLZ WRITE ABOUT ME". Contrary to previous sentiments, Sensitive Sammy actually joined the bandwagon and began saying "Andrew you can write whatever you want about me". My response was always "Do something funny, and I'll write about the moment". Then obviously began the kids forcing jokes upon me, and after everyone saying "So are you guna write about that?" Writing about each one of them in a single blog would be time lengthy, and since I am super occupied with television I can only write about one of them. So...Congratulations...to...dum dummmmm...Xena the African Princess (A.K.A Rachel)!!!
As a tribute to your Bat-Mitzvah (Celebrtation at age twelve), and because you desperately wanted this you are this weeks grand winner. The relationship between me and Rachel is a love-hate one; though, she more loves me than hates me. She has had a crush on me for years, but I keep on reminding her that we are cousins and to suppress her feelings. Further, she has a very philosophical side to her. For instance, she once asked me "Andrew, you know how we go into the water for enjoyment...well do you think fish go on land?" Although on the surface the question poses a very naive nature, a glance beyond the simplicity reveals the profound meaning in her intention. Rachel's intended meaning was to convey the philosophical bromine that 'absolutes don't exist in this world'. How can we be sure that fish don't come on land? We can be confident since there were no sightings of such an event, but can we be absolutely positive? Nope. This was your intended meaning...right Rachel?
As a typical little girl with a crush, she uses a mockery to display affection. Her favorite one is "Andrew, you're like so ugly". Very clever. Well, Rachel, I should remind you that we look alike, so by calling me ugly, you are in essence calling yourself ugly. Perhaps we are both ugly, but I just wanted to let you know that that particular insult is a double-edged sword. Despite our differences, we do have something in common: our laugh.Whether a joke completely lacks humor or whether it's funny but not laugh worthy, we both resort to the awkward defense 'teh'. It is just a natural response from the both of us; though, I trademarked that laugh long before she was born, so she clearly copied me.
Alright well I suppose I can tell you one of Rachel's funnier moments. Two years ago a bunch of family and friends were sitting by the beach, and we noticed a pair of balloons that were the size of a circular fist. To the mature adults and Andrew we saw nothing of it, but immature Rachel was very amused by these two balloons. Let's just say she desperately wanted to impress me, so she put the two balloons in her upper garment of the bathing suit. Imagine a ten year old girl who suddenly has a pair of knockers. Twenty year old guys were stopping on the beach to check her out, and there was one young looking kid with a girl beside her. The young kid literally stared at her for a good four seconds until my uncle goes "Get outa here kid." This parade of amusement lasted only three minutes, when my uncle popped one of the balloons. Oh boy Rachel.
This blog is to you Allie and Rachel! Enjoy guys!
Ciao
Sorry this is really late. I just returned from Poland, and I will be leaving for Germany tomorrow! I used this one day to write this just to show how much i love y'all
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Well what has been happening in my life?
1) Just finished my online course
2) Went to Poland for a week and saw the concentration camps. Next blog topic!
3) Impregnated a girl
4) Failed my AP Statistics exam considering I drew pictures all over the test.
5) Going to Germany tommorow
One of these is false.
