Dear Diary,
My grandfather is one of those 'try to be hip' grandfathers. He has the latest phone that he can hardly navigate through, has unlimited texting but struggles with the idea of 'contacts', and, yes, has reached an ultimate high of 19 friends on Facebook . I should say 18.5 friends since technically he is in my 'limited profile' category and cannot see my entire profile. This is not personal against him--every family member above the age of 30 gets dumped into that category. I make personal exceptions though to those that make it to triple digits, so baba, if you ever make your way too facebook you can have the privilege of seeing my profile in its entirety--trust me, that is a sight you should all want to see. Oh and I made a personal ban from parental friendship. Sorry mom. Let's make a deal. Quadruple digits for you, and you can be considered for 'limited profile'.
Back to my grandfather! Well he goes by 'Papa' among the grandchildren. Sometimes we try and make variations by calling him 'Pops', but 'Papa' is his main alias. A routine texting conversation between me and him begins with "Hey Andrew, how was your day?" Aw what a nice grandfather! I smile and reply "It was good". Two hours later I get back "Good what?" I kind of ignored the lack of comprehension and thought "Considering how long it took for the response, maybe he was trying to ask how my day was yesterday". Either way, my response would have been the same even if I fell off a ten story building or into a lake full of alligators; "My day was goooooodddd" is just how we teenagers respond to any type of situation.
Back to my my grandfather (again)! Papa is my mother's father, meaning I am going to, unfortunately, inherit his bald scalp. Oh man! No more sitting in the ChooChoo train seat at Kids Kutz! Papa and I always had a very close relationship. Since I was young whenever the family would gather at my grandparent's house I would go straight up to my grandfather's room, sit with him on his bed, and watch some sport station which I was never interested in. I remember telling my mother that when I was older I wanted to be as good of a grandfather as Papa was. Oddly, my sister would say the same thing.
Well I was in school the other day, and while listening to a friend give a wonderful presentation on the potential lurking variables in a statistic, my sister calls me from Israel. "Ugh" I thought "She thinks I am depressed over WashU". I take a step out of the classroom and answer the phone. My sister asks "Hi Andrew...do you have a blog?" ISUBGAIURGBAGB *frustration* "WHAT!!??!?" I said! I did not want my family to view this blog! "ya" she said "mom told me". "Oh mother what have you done" I thought. I walked into the house at around 5:00, and I did not know what reaction to expect from my parents. Winds up that my mother has become my number one my fan, and my dad...well he says he likes it. When I asked my mom how the heck she found my blog, she told me that Papa was looking through my Facebook profile and found a link to my blog. Grr 'limited profile' my ass.
Well Papa. I hereby award you with Facebook 's # 2 stalker. Facebook 's # 1 stalker? Oh...well that's me obviously. I am probably THE biggest Facebook loser. My daily Facebook adventure begins with incorrectly typing in my password twice and then reading every post on my 'live feed' . I then click on a random profile and read the posts on his/her profile and when I finish reading his/her activity from the past month, I go to the displayed 'mutual friends' and click on a random friend. This process can continue for 45 minutes and will usually begin again two hours later. I have even forced myself to disable my Facebook temporarily in order to take a break from the nonsense. My longest brake thus far has been two days. Such great self control Andrew.
Well I suppose the 'child gets his mother's father's hair' theory extends farther than hair. I have always considered us very alike whether it be our perspectives on political ideas or our shared Facebook stalking. Pops, we should get together and wreck the Facebook world with our great abilities--we would make a great team .
Ah, yes. The key to my diary has at last been exposed to the eyes of family, friends, and the world. Sayonara privacy and hello internet.
P.S. I know, I know, last blog I said four per month, but my parents told me that was too long of a gap : / So consider this a 'treat.' See you next week!
