Decisions, Decisions

Dear Diary,

BLAH! asufibub

I hate making important decision! 

When my parents first asked me whether I wanted to spend a year in Israel, I laughed and remarked "you're asking me already?!" At that point it seemed like I had a million years before I had to finalize my decisions, yet apparently I have to reply with a 'yes' or  a 'no' in two weeks. I am so conflicted, that I have no idea what to do. Should I take a gap year before college and spend a year in Israel? Or should I simply go to college? 

Going to Israel for a gap year is very common in my community--almost an aberration to attend college immediately after high school. I have my concerns about both options. If I were to go to Israel for the year, I would be in a foreign environment with no high school friends in the school I applied to; however, people come back saying what a great experience they had and how I would be missing out. My parents support my decision either way, yet I also feel like my mother would be disappointed if I do not go. 

I also hate being away from home. I know either decision ensures my departure, but with the college option I can come home whenever as opposed to the Israel option. I don't really do well in new environments; as my mother likes to say "I'm introverted!" If I go to Israel and do not 'fit in' with the people in the school then I will be spending that year in hell; however, college is college. College's have thousands of students, and I will be sure to find my niche at a university. 

I wish I had a GPS that would guide and tell me which option would be the better route. Will I have a blast in Israel? Or will I hate it? 

urgg--VERY CONFLICTED! Both decisions are a risk, but I suppose that is the case with every decision.

ah alright cyaa.

P.S. Just found out that I didn't get a scholarship to the Washington University program I applied to, so I am also frustrated about that : / Hopefully better news next time! :-)